Growing up in a small town has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I loved having the experience of feeling part of a community and living somewhere where everyone knows pretty much everyone. All throughout my life I have been surrounded by the best circle of people that have been nothing short of supportive. While these things will always be a part of me and those relationships will remain strong, it never really occurred to me that my whole life was about to change…until the summer after my senior year.
I just came off a high that most seniors in high schools experience. From graduation, senior nights, athletic activities, student council events, scholarship ceremonies, and more, an extremely memorable year is created. I had so much fun and was so fortunate to have such a fun and wonderful high school experience. Along with all of those special moments, when I look back on that school year I remember all of my high school teachers and my parents telling me how much I am going to love college and how fun it would be. I recall always agreeing with them when they said things like that, but always felt relieved that it wasn’t happening yet. In my mind I thought, “I don’t need anything else. I have the best friends in the whole world, a great family, and a boyfriend I have been with all of highschool. Why would I ever want to leave?” Even though I had that thought, I knew I did not want to attend community college and could not see myself anywhere else but ISU. My older brother who now lives/teaches in Normal attended ISU. Along with that benefit, it was close to home, a good size, familiar to me, and known for education. Even with those feelings of not wanting to leave, I deep down knew I wanted a college experience and reminded myself that not everyone is able to have that. When I reminded myself that, a little part of me was excited, but still scared of what would happen.
That summer I decided I just wanted to enjoy myself. I had so much fun with all of my friends, family, and boyfriend at the time. I went to concerts, worked a little, had family vacations, and spent lots of time with the people that meant a lot to me. Although it seemed like a normal summer, I still felt anxious about move- in day that would quickly be approaching. At the beginning of July, my boyfriend and I had broken up and I was devastated. I spent the rest of my summer coping with that loss with the help of my friends and family. Although I was upset, I felt so grateful to have those people by my side. I remember feeling so frustrated that I was experiencing so much change in my life in such a short window of time. Despite those challenges, the rest of the summer flew by. Before I knew it, August came around and it was time to move in to Haynie Hall.
From move-in day through most of first semester, life at college was HARD for me. I had joined organizations, made GREAT friends, was still close with hometown friends, went to class, but still did not feel right yet. I found myself not feeling like Holly normally does. I was not my upbeat, positive, and fun self. I did not love living in dorms, went home a lot, and did not think this was something I could ever work through. I was still struggling with the breakup, having down time, and the realization that this was a new normal for me. I remember my mom telling me, “You are doing everything you are supposed to do. Just give it time and things will fall into place.”
I can not exactly pinpoint a specific event that made me turn things around, but towards the end of first semester and all of second semester things were SO much better! I decided that it was time for me to not worry so much and start embracing what was in front of me. Overall my freshman year of college pushed me and helped me grow in ways I never thought possible. I learned so much about life and myself, and tried so many new things. Looking back, I realized that I ended up laughing so much, made so many memories, and left with friends that I now call my best friends. Although it came with challenges, I put myself first, and was the happiest I had been in a long time. None of that would have been possible without the encouragement and support from my friends and family. I am now closer with these people than I have ever been. During that tough stretch, it made me cherish my hometown and community that I came from even more. I also started finding that community here in Normal. I started feeling extra lucky for the people in life and the town that I came from. Along with my friends from home, I also realized how fortunate I was for my friends at school stuck with me through the good and the bad. I now have so much love for my life at college and at home. Although there are still struggles along the way, I realized that is just how life is, and that everything happens for a reason!
Holly's Blog 